It's My Life Blog

I was diagnosed with cancer a few years back. Ever since, I have had one thing I'm worried about. Being forgotten.. I have no kids, no close family here. No real close friends here either. If I were to die tomorrow, my wife would mourn me until she found another person, but I would be forgotten. That is my greatest fear. I don't fear death per say, I fear the aftermath. What about friends I have known forever, will they remember me? What about past relationships? Does my first love ever think about me, or am I just a very distant past. Does my ex wife ever think about me, or am I just a nightmare she has forgotten? All in all, would I be forgotten?

I was born on July 24, 1977 in Phoenix, Arizona. My earliest memory was riding a blue power wheel Indy Car. I loved that thing. It was pretty awesome. I also remember telling my parents, when I was about 5 or 6 that I was scared that they would die. I was pretty upset about this. My mom reassured me that they'll be around for a very long time. I always hated school. In first grade my mom had to drag me to class because I hated it so much. I was never as smart as the kids, and more importantly, as my brother. I met my childhood best friend around first grade. Robert McKenzie. Him and I were inseparable. If one of us got in trouble, the other was there with them. He and I grew apart later in life. He would go on to join the Navy and then become a preacher. As of this post, I haven't seen him in over a decade. But that's a different story. Another childhood best friend was Damioun. He lived in the house behind ours. He was a great guy. I miss him. It's been 25 years or mor...

When I was 15 I met this extremely beautiful girl. She was half Hispanic and half white. She had beautiful jet black hair, dark eyes. Alicia was her name, and damn how beautiful she was. Ever Saturday, we would meet at Paradise Valley Mall where amongst other things, heavy making out took place. We would give each other hickeys. We would go to the movies just to make out.  She was from Scottsdale and I was from South Phoenix which totally caused issues with her dad. He once told her that I would be dead y the time I turned 20. That was the attitude I got from rich snobs cause I was from a "poor family from the wrong side of the track".  God she was beautiful. I daydream of her and the times we had together.I have recently been going through small bouts of depression, thinking of high school years. Even though I had many girlfriends, Alicia and Shannon are the two I always go back to. I remember the first time I told Alicia that I loved her. We were at Castle & Coasters an...